Une série d’expériences menées récemment en psychologie démontre que dans nos interactions, nous sous-estimons la qualité de l’impression que nous produisons sur les autres. Bref, nous nous pensons moins apprécié que nous ne le sommes en réalité.∗
Pourquoi? Les chercheurs pensent que cette erreur d’évaluation est en partie liée à la timidité, et au fait que nous serions si concentrés sur nous-mêmes que nous ne détectons pas les signaux positifs que les autres nous envoient.
Et lorsqu’on sait que le cerveau repère et focalise beaucoup plus facilement sur le négatif que sur le positif, et bien on comprend pourquoi il est parfois compliqué d’aller vers les autres, de se créer de nouvelles relations.
Alors il est temps de rétablir la vérité:
Tout d’abord, en nous méfiant de notre propre jugement, d’autant plus s’il nous empêche l’ouverture aux autres.
Et puis, en s’exerçant à porter notre attention sur les signaux positifs que nous renvoient les autres, nous entraînons notre cerveau à observer le positif, et à générer des émotions agréables. Ce sont ces mêmes émotions agréables qui vont à leur tour nous prédisposer à nous ouvrir à l’autre, à aller à sa rencontre, et pourquoi pas? à créer une véritable amitié.
Alors quand est-ce qu’on s’y met?
∗E.J.Boothby et al., The liking gap in conversations : do people like us more than we think? , Psychological Science, 5 septembre 2018
Cet article vous a plu? Difficile ou facile à mettre en pratique? Laissez moi vos commentaires!
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